My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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