Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
