Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
