I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
