I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize