Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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