Whatcha textin bout Willis?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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