i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
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