Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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