Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
YAS. BRING CRAB.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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