I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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