i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
