There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
