How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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