So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
