He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Randomize
