I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
