I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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