So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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