put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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