I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
