Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Randomize
