why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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