I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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