I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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