I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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