When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
