After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
