It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
