i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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