Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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