I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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