I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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