I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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