the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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