the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
