you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
