Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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