If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
