I wanna bring you to show and tell
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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