Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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