worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I FOUND THE LEGS
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
