Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
