it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
