it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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