I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
