We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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