she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
