In the future we'll all be gay
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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