That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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