I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
She bit a glass in half.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
