he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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