the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
