you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
