So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
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