She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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