Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize