Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize