Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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