he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
