Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
