I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
