I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
